Laaaaazy

Why am I being so lazy? Haven't done a lot today..except bought some more paint. I ate too many olives, I should learn that olives can't substitude candy. I started watching 2046 but decided it's too complicated to watch when I'm so tired. Why am I tired? Except for going out every night and painting one painting haven't done anything this weekend. Well maybe finished the Clinical Workflow Education and sent my USC application, and of course Herve visited.

I guess I'l make up for it this week. Skiing tomorrow and then maybe going out after. And then of course salsa Wednesday, bar hopping Thursday to get Atchin super duper late birthday drunk, then NYC Fiday for amazing Natasa's bday.. :) So I should really really go to sleep now!!!!

Borders

I sometimes feel I border reality and dream. As if my life were a pendulum going inbetween what I imagine and what is real. It might be that I have not had enough sleep lately, or I have seen to many weird movies. One for instance was Henry and June, about the affair between Anais Nin and Henry Miller. It really made me want to read Tropic of Cancer... And then I saw the Dreamers, directed by Bertolucci. It wasn't as powerfull as Last Tango in Paris I thought, but it was still pretty weird. These movies, about people who experiment, push their lifes beyond rules, society and morality seem to pierce my mind, seem to somhow penetrate my heart, just like your coldness. And slowly I can feel how my innocence is turning into protective spines full of lies, my heart into ice.

I painted this as I was watching The Dreamers...

The super cool Stefan :P

Lost

Lost is getting good again. I loved the last two episodes. Desperate Housewives is getting bad :(
Anyway I like this quote, in which Sawyer is explaining the way he cons people..

Everyone's scared, but they're most scared about missing an opportunity.

I guess that's why I feel most of the times I take whatever I can get. The problem is that most of the things I need to be happy are not hard to get... so I reach a point where I forget how it is to really want something and not be able to have it. And when I am suddenly reminded it can make me feel lost.

Such a very nice evening :)

The Need to Create

Lately I've been felling this intense desire to create. I've been scribbling circles on the edges of my projects, trying to add new features to my programs, writing pointless paragraphs in my diary.. So after work I just bought water color and started painting... And this is what I came up with. What do you think?

Tumbled Up Weekend

Have you ever had one of those weekends... When you have the flu, your nose is blocked and your head hurts and all you want to do is stay in bed, drink hot tea and take long baths filled with essential oils? However there are some people whose craziness can tumble your plans up. Such crazy people can come out of nowhere and drag you out of the house into the freezing cold. But after some glasses of wine, complicated cocktails and dancing the cold is suddenly not that bad anymore and you find yourself trying new things, like going on a baseball field or dancing salsa on two :) And when they're gone you find yourself missing your crazy friends...

Atchin's lunch

What I meant to say was... ACHIN's fatty fatty lunch :P

Fighting the wicked wind

I shouted at the wind. "We should have a talk you and I. You see you can't go around people like that, play with their hair and then quickly run away. It's just not done!" He didn't like it, you see, and blew me off with a push. He never grew up, I suppose, the wicked wind of north. So what is left for me to do? Run away south... where his whims would be nothing more than echoes in a seashell.

Dreaming

I am definitely a dreamer.

I dream when I wake up in the morning.
I dream when I drive to work.
I dream between stupid arguments.

I dream at my desk.
I dream in my car.
I dream watching the ceiling above my bed.

I dream about love.
I dream about hate.
I dream about you.

I wish I could sleep. Instead I read Love in the Time of Cholera because Marquez reminds me of new ways to dream.

Random Quotes

Some not so random quotes by one of our favorite writers, thanks to Miss Lekic.

"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat."

Oscar Wilde

"The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived."

Oscar Wilde :: A Woman of No Importance, Act 3


And then another even less random quote from a book I haven't quite yet finished reading yet:
"Insensibly he formed the most delightful habit in the world, the habit of reading: he did not know that thus he was providing himself with refuge from all the distress of life; he did not know either that he was creating for himself an unreal world which would make the real world of every day a source of bitter disappointment."

On Human Bondage :: W. Somerset Maugham

Love is like a book you see, you resist it at the beginning but after the first couple of pages you never want to let it down, you never want it to end. Unless of course it's one of those dreadful boring books that seduces you with its covers and bright reviews but proves to be nothing more than bitter disappointment.

The Perfect Weekend

It's been one of those unique, perfect weekends that will always make me smile when I look back at it... :)

Books

Learning to kill desire...

Fw:

Natasa's Y&R cube